Revision Ready
- Lauren Richards
- Mar 25
- 3 min read
Last I checked, the happiest children in the world live in The Netherlands. Dutch children (and parents) get better sleep, more exercise, and there is less pressure to excel academically. In fact, emphasis is placed on motivation, not grades. Why? Well, happy children learn better. Happy children are more motivated, they concentrate better, are better behaved in class, and get on well with their peers. Over the sea here in England, however, we have the unhappiest children in Europe. Let that sink in.
You’d think our education ministers would learn (excuse the pun!) from our neighbours and copy some of their practices. Instead, many of our teens are demotivated, anxious and struggling in an education system that prioritises exams over development.
As parents, we don’t have time to wait for policies to change. But we can help our children to be happier, motivated, and more resilient through their exams and school experience.
The first place to look is at yourself. Children look to their parents for how to react, and if you have been negative about exams, your teens very likely will be too. It is important to get things into perspective. The fact of the matter is that exams are but a tiny element of their lives. When I lectured on degree programmes, if they could demonstrate relevant life experience and were able to pass an admissions test, mature students with poor school exam results could be accepted onto our courses. Sometime these were the best learners because they were interested and motivated. My point is that failing exams is not the end of the world – there may be opportunities to re-sit the exam at a later point, and people can, and often do, find a different way into a career than through the prescribed examination route. Which is why perspective is so important.
Have a conversation with your teen about the pressure behind exams and explore any false ideas that their worth is tied to the outcomes. Reframe exams in a positive light – exams are a good way to demonstrate what you have learnt, to showcase your understanding. The time leading up to exams is good practice for the workplace as it shows you can work independently, manage your time, and focus your attention.
I believe our job as parents is to create a healthy, supportive environment to enable our teens to do their best and to keep perspective through this time. We should provide structure and routine which allows them to build good habits and a good work ethic.
Good habits start with restorative sleep. Teens need 8 – 10 hours a night, and this means going to bed at a sensible time WITHOUT their phone! With a good bedtime routine in place, you are then able to structure the rest of their routine – meals, exercise, homework and of course, time to relax and be a teen!
Before you make any excuses about not feeding your child breakfast – those teens who sat in my lessons who hadn’t eaten would be tired, grumpy and unable to concentrate. Insist on a healthy breakfast and make sure they have a drink of water.
I can report from experience that a healthy routine instilled in year 10 and managed through her GCSE’s, has taught my daughter independent study habits. At A-level she doesn’t need any reminding or managing of her time. She doesn’t experience overwhelming anxiety for exams because she makes revision notes throughout the year. She also understands that some anxiety is to be expected, is necessary even, and that she is enough regardless of her performance.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and worried about your teen’s upcoming exams, give them a hug and remind yourself that a happy and healthy teen is more important than a number on a page.
Author of Revision Ready: A parents' guide to supporting their child through exams. If you would like to purchase this little e-book, you can find it at:
Lauren Richards GMBPsS, MSc, EMCC, HGDipl, Cert Ed., BSocSc
Positive Psychologist and Coaching Psychologist
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