For many people, December is a month of festivities. It is a time for family and friends, of decorating Christmas trees, presents in stockings, Christmas dinners, carol singing, pantomimes and magic. For children there is a mischievous elf who appears in December and keeps getting into all sorts of trouble, before disappearing on Christmas eve. The magic tradition (or ritual) of sprinkling reindeer dust to guide Santa’s sleigh, and hoping, fingers crossed, that Santa will come. Although we might not use the word, December is a time of ritual.
We humans have a long history with rituals. They provide an ongoing structure to our lives, enriching them with a sense of meaning and purpose. They connect us with nature and the passing of the seasons. In times of grief, rituals can guide us through the process and give structure to our recovery by providing focus and purpose. In many western cultures, for example, a wake is followed by (or follows) a religious service and burial with mourners wearing dark colours symbolizing their sadness.
In times gone by, rituals marked important rites of passage such as the entry into adulthood. Rituals help to guide behaviour and often provide much needed social support. In our modern world, where screens replace eye contact, our young people are in dire need of support and guidance through interaction with other humans, of all ages. Perhaps if we better embraced and celebrated the transition into adulthood (celebrating the menarche might lead to less embarrassment for young women for example), we would have a more integrated, healthy society. Rituals embed a sense of belonging, promoting resilience and reassurance in turbulent times.
Self-care rituals are important too. We need to take time to meditate, to relax and nourish our bodies and our minds. Creating rituals around these activities embeds them with a sense of purpose and pleasure, adding to our resilience and wellbeing. Remember though, the proven path to happiness is through our connection with others. So, extend your Christmas rituals to include other people: create a magical time for children; design rituals that encompass your whole family, neighbours, friends, and those less fortunate. If Christmas is usually a lonely time for you, why not share your time with those less fortunate. Get in touch with loved ones and call your friends.
Who knows, perhaps your children will continue with these rituals, spreading the love and magic year after year.
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